walk, run JUMP!

                "The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions." Sometimes the greatest moments of our lives are pure unadulterated leaps of faith made in the weirdest of hours on the most peculiar of days. Sometimes excitement can come in sitting in silence watching how the world reacts towards one another, or in taking pictures in movement and guessing what it looks like besides the actual object. Sometimes leaps of faith are the most important movements we'll ever make, and more often than not the fear of the leap is worth the fall.

               Today I realized something that saddened me a little, but I was glad I found that reality check. I realized that the life I'm living is not for me at all. I don't need most of the people in my life anymore besides my very best friend Aria. I don't even like most of the people in my life anymore. But the real reality check came when I realized it was so unfair to them, to myself, to be living this happy lie. It's bad enough some of my closest friends think it's so okay to be the way we are, but I started to accept that settling for happiness was okay. I decided falling in love with someone is sometimes a decision to love, instead of the magical mountain-moving force Disney made it out to be. What?! Friendships shouldn't ever be drawbacks. Relationships should never be vexations that are there just to have. Happiness shouldn't have to be settled on.
          So maybe the biggest leaps we make in this lifetime are the smallest steps. Maybe today was the most peculiar of days, the day I went to the mall with two of my closest friends, that I randomly decided this is not for me anymore. Maybe happiness is sometimes making decisions to be who you want and choose who you want to accompany you in life. Maybe my leap of faith starts today. Maybe my big leap is my baby steps to walking away from the person I no longer want to be, the people I no longer want as companions. Maybe it's my turn, hell, maybe it's your turn, to j u m p.