&& changes.

March 2005:
My heart beats a steady rhythm of a low volume.
I reach for some kind of recognition of existence, some life.
I sit around.
Young.
Innocent.

March 2008:
My heart beats slowly to catch pace with my life.
My hands stay by my side.
I sleep a lot.
Tired.
Withdrawn.

March 2009:
My heart beats fast.
My hands reach for the steering wheel.
Boom.
Fast.
Hello life.

September 2009:
He determines the beat of my heart.
I reach for his hand.
Boy meets girl.
Girl meets world.


December 2009:
No heart.
I reach for the cabinet.
Grab three small tablets of redemption.
Jack Daniels.
Inhale.
Swallow.

January 2010:
No Soul.
I reach for the phone. Too late.
I open my mouth.
No Sound.
Run.
Can't.
Scream.
Can't.

February 2010:
nothing.
reach for death, life's too far gone.


rewind. can't.
.tneconni
.gnuoy
.dnuora tis I
.efil emos, ecnetsixe fo noitingocer fo dnik emos rof hcaer I
.emulov wol a fo mhtyhr ydaets a staeb traeh ym

fast forward.

March 2013:
nothing.

March 2014:
nothing.

damn life changes.